Maybe you have experienced moments of loneliness when you feel that your partner does not understand you. Or maybe you feel that he doesn't care about you or doesn't appreciate you enough. But you have moments of connection, moments in which you feel loved or loved. The latter reverses the hope of a life fulfilled together and makes you stay in the relationship. But then there are moments of emotional fall. What to do in such a situation? Is it normal to be like that? What does a healthy couple look like? And what can you do to have a happy relationship?
Why do so many people cheat?
Unfortunately, this is the reality these days. There are plenty of people who cheat on their partners. The reasons for doing soc a be quite different. Yet, some of the most common ones are the fact that there is no sexual attraction or the fact that one of the partners doesn’t feel understood. There are lots of men who date a female escort Colchester just because they want to have someone to talk to about anything without being judged. Even if it’s hard to believe, men do feel the need to talk to their partners.
It’s just that they don’t do it because they are afraid that they will be judged. For example, lots of guys do not talk about their sexual fantasies because they are afraid that their partners will think they are weird. Communication is very important in a couple and we all know that. Plenty of problems would be solved if both partners would communicate honestly about anything. Therefore, men would not feel the need to date professional escorts and they would focus on their relationship.
Couple relationship: source of happiness or suffering?
What we all have in common is the need to be loved and the desire to have a beautiful relationship. We are biologically conditioned to seek and form attachment relationships with other people. That's how we survived throughout the history of humanity. Neuroscience studies show that when we do not feel loved, the same brain structures are activated as when we have physical suffering.
At the same time, we are socially conditioned, in maturity, to engage in a monogamous relationship with another adult. This is the norm to which we relate most of us and delimit the borders of the couple's relationship. What is outside these borders, namely infidelity generates suffering between partners?
Also, living within the couple's borders can often be difficult. This happens when the needs, interests, and preferences of one of the partners are not satisfied in relation to the other. When this happens, a significant percentage of people choose to go outside the relationship to get what they fail to get inside it. Some of them end up with a divorce, while others choose in an assumed manner, from the start, to separate.
So, most of us remain in the relationship we are in. But how satisfied are we with the couple's relationship? Psychologists measure satisfaction through a scale. Here are a few questions from this scale you could reflect on: On a scale of 1 to 10, in which 1 means at all and 10 means totally, to what extent your couple's relationship is approaching the ideal? On a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with your couple's life?
Factors contributing to a healthy couple relationship
It may be that you have learned from parents, more experienced friends, or people you admire what is good to do for your relationship to work. Although well-intentioned, often the recommendations offered, do not seem to help you feel better. It may even create confusion and lack of hope because you put them into practice and don't produce the expected results. It is very important to look back at your childhood to see what problems you have in your couple.
Dimensions of attraction in a healthy couple relationship
Attraction refers to the passion you feel for your partner. Some important elements for attraction are the physical and psychological characteristics of the partner, values, concerns, and social-economic status. When these aspects are at your expectations, there is a greater probability of feeling more attracted to the other.
The problem is that, in a conscious way, we are attracted by people with positive features, similar to those of the people who have taken care of us. But, unconsciously, we are attracted to people who have the same negative characteristics that those people have. To check this in your case, you can reflect on the following questions:
What emotional needs did you have in childhood from your parents, that they did not fulfill at all? Find the right answer to this question and you will know exactly what problem you have in your romantic relationship. When you notice that your relationship is not working as it used to work, it is very important that you do something about it. The good news is that there are lots of things you and your partner can do to improve your connection.
Every romantic relationship has ups and downs. What’s most important is that you don’t ignore the signs that show you that you have problems. Do your best to make your relationship work. Make sure you come with something new and exciting all the time, especially when it comes to your intimate life. Don’t let your sex life become boring. Improve it constantly and you will see how things will be better between you and your loved one.
Another important thing you must not forget about is the fact that any relationship needs work. Don’t expect your relationship to be great without doing anything. Small gestures are the most important ones, even if you don’t believe it. Always show love and appreciation to your partner. Make him feel loved and appreciated even for those little things that he does for you. Also, make sure that you don’t ignore your sex life. This is how you build a happy and fulfilling relationship that will last a lifetime.